The Longevity of Marriage

A Timeless Treasure - Lost and Found.

By end of this year, 30 November 2008, my wife and I would be celebrating our 40th wedding anniversary.

Forty years is a long time to be staying married together, considering that in today's connected internet world, and fast paced global society, more and more marriages do not even make it past 20 years.

If you read the Book of Exodus you will remember how the Jewish nation spent 40 long years wandering in the desert, before they entered the Promised Land. It was a journey of endurance, which called for human temperance, patience, unity of spirit, long suffering, and most important of all, keeping God always at the centre and heart of this Jewish nation.

It requires maintaining righteous relationships across all families, with kinsmen and tribal cousins, under some of the most trying and adverse living, environmental and hostile climatic conditions.

It was to be a long journey which tested the fortitude and patience of every living soul in that Jewish community. But for the calming spirit of God, working through His reluctant but faithful servant, Moses, this Jewish nation would have revolted then, and been extinguished a long time ago, through social disintergration.

The same could be said for a marriage relationship. For a marriage to cross the forty year divide, and enter into a further lifetime of togetherness, the relationship between a husband and his wife must also depend on God for grace, compassion, guidance and faithfulness. He is the doer and finisher of our faith.

It is said that the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. So whether it is measured in years or in miles, one could liken an enduring marriage, to a journey of a thousand miles, spread over many years. In fact, it is more than that.

"For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health", in the eyes of God, a marriage, once consummated, is a public declaration before God between ONE man and ONE woman ONLY, committed to each other for life, for all eternity and beyond. A marriage is a lifetime partnership based on love, sharing, faithfulness, caring, sharing, and give and take.

A declaration and commitment of marriage vows is not about 'having the hots' for sex in a moment of uncontrollable desire. In one single aroused state of mind, a moment of indiscretion inflamed by the flesh, can lead to a lifetime of regrets.

So a lifetime marriage commitment is not just about living for the now. It is about both partners working together for the future. It is about cultivating and growing a haven of peace and understanding in the home, of give and take between spouses and within the family members, of accepting and tolerating the good and the bad as it comes, of sharing and caring, and about honoring and respecting one another, and most importantly, about worshipping together, growing in the faith, and believing and trusting in the same God.

A once popular hit movie titled 'Love Story' had this for a promotional tagline. "Love is never having to say you're sorry"

How idealistic! How romantic! And how naïve! “ On the contrary, love is about having to say sorry, some of the time, be quick to forgive nor be hesitant to ask for forgiveness, all the time”

Marriage is never meant to be a bed of roses, nor just about song, dinner and wine. It requires work. It requires patience. It requires tolerance. It requires forbearance from both sides. And it requires love to be honored and nurtured throughout the years.

It calls for remembering one another's special days, like birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Grandparent's Day, Youth Day, Children's Day and Family Reunion Day.

A poet once wrote these memorable words:
"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways..."
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861)

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height, my soul can reach, when feeling out of sight. For the ends of Being and ideal Grace, I love thee to the level of everyday's most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. I love thee freely, as men strive for Right; I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise. I love thee with a passion put to use. In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith, I love thee with a love I seemed to lose. With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath, smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death.

So for your marriage to last a life time, daily say a prayer, and make this your daily heavenly offering to remind yourself.

"Don't just count the days, but make every day count....."

My mission is to be a book shepherd to help wannabe writers to self publish their own books. I am contactable at patrick.anglh@yahoo.com.sg or patrick@danpoynter.com.sg
Tel. 98531380

PatAngel